You are in the supermarket pushing a trolley full of grocery and you meet this acquaintance from your colony who greets you with "Came for purchase huh?" What would you say? I have this strong urge to say: "Not at all, I do this for my afternoon exercise. Keeps my arms in shape and saves on the gym fees!" But I always smile and ask "how re you?" in return. See,I am a nice gentle soul with a mind that gets out of control when exposed to such questions.

And I seem to attract these questions like the proverbial pot of honey that attracts flies.We had a general body meeting of our colony's association on Sunday. One of the office bearers greeted me and asked me "How was your trip to the U.S? You have come back no?"
Whaaat? of course I have come back. wasn't I standing in front of him or did I look like a webcam image? Then it occurred to me that he was asking me if I have already gone and come back or was I yet to go.

I used to work in this office that occupied the top floor of the building and while waiting for the lift, I was always accosted with a very perceptive "going down?". Where else was there to go? Of course I was going down. Unless they thought I was lingering near the elevator to have a smoke.
Almost every other day when I am out walking the dog someone asks me "Taking dog for walk?" I Could tell them "It is our mealtime and we are out food hunting" Or I could say that we are marching for cruelty against dog owners but I am not sure the message will get across so I assure them that we are taking a walk.

Perhaps these people have a career cut out for them - television journalism. Have you seen the way the TV journalists shove the mike in front of Rahul Dravid after winning the series and ask him "do you feel happy with the result?" or ask Priya Dutt after her brother Sanjay's sentence "are you shocked?" or when they asked Amitabh Bachchan (with rings on all his fingers with stones, some to ward off bad luck and some to bring luck) "Are you superstitious?" or when they asked Abhishek Bachchan "Do you miss bachelorhood?"
Well, as the saying goes, there are no stupid questions.It is perhaps your thinking that makes it so.
22 Responses
  1. Altoid Says:

    LOL! There was this list of stupid q's normal people ask floating around a while true about TV reporters...I saw one on TV the other day asking someone who'd won the game "do you give credit to your parents for this achievement?". I mean who'd say after this...NO, never. I would never want to give credit to my parents.

    Ya, seriously...funny! :)

  2. Unknown Says:

    Oh god yes...and these are normally intelligent people! I just want to tell some of them in fact that its ok if we just smile when we bump into each other in the park..we dont HAVE to make any polite conversation!
    But for me nothing was more irritating than when well meaning relatives asked me a couple hundered times in the days leading upto my wedding if I was excited! Whats that supp to mean?!?!?
    Made me want to scream and act loony just to scare them away!

  3. Savani Says:

    ROTFL. When I was in labor my darling husband asked me with genuine concern if its hurting too much :D

  4. Bulbul Says:

    I couldnt stop laughing at "we are out food hunting"...ROTFL.

  5. Blogeswari Says:

    ha ha ha! Add this:
    1. One old Tam-brahm maama/ maami at a kalyanam " Naa yaar teriyardha?"

    2. At the same Kalyanam in Madras sometime in mid May, another mama/ mami "shooo.. ! oree veyyil illa?"

    3. Mama / mami to bride / groom few days before the wedding "Aprom avar/ aval enna sollraa(r)?"

    TV Journos!!!! The Hindi ones always seem to be asking "Aap ko kaisa mehsoos hota hein?" for everything and anything these days. They go around town with a mike on Diwali and ask people "is Diwali pe aap ko kaisa mehsoos hota hein?"
    weird characters!

  6. Blogeshwari beat me to it.
    "aap is wakth kaisa mehsoos kar rahe hai' seems to the common refrain and it sounds seriously insensitive when asked of a mother whose child has just fallen into a pit or a father whose son has been kidnapped (the Adobe CEO Naresh's Gupta). Just goes to show that many a times, when at a loss for words, its better to keep shut than to spout silliness.

  7. Serendipity Says:

    :) Hilarious! Especially the lift part.
    A similar set was published in an issue of the "MAD" magazine..

    Friend to a newly wed: Is your husband nice?
    Newly wed: No , he's a wife beating lout , its just the money.

    Woman(after stepping on a fellow passenger with her stilettos):Your face has gone red! Did that hurt!
    MAn: No , no , my Mum happened to be a pink falmingo

  8. Swati Says:

    hehehhe..hilarious ..yep people do not think when they ask questions :D Yesterday I came back from work and said hi to my neighbour while getting in. My son came crawling as soon as door opened and wanted to go out , so immediately i came out with him. All within 2-3 minutes and the same neighbour asked me , what did he have for snacks today ..and I told her that i just came and I dont know. Her reply was ..yes i know you just came :P

    TV journalist are sure irritating , esp the "how do you will today" kinds , after a BIG LOSS or HUGE SUCCESS

  9. ROFL! That was a vintage Usha post. Reminded me of your earlier blogs that I fell in love with.:-D Of course you are a kind gentle soul LOLOLOL

  10. Anonymous Says:

    haha! So true! People ask all kinds of strange questions just trying to make some conversation.

    About stupid questions, I heard this joke: There is a guy describing his latest hunting trip. "Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this huge tiger jumps on me". One of the listeners were quite startled. "OH MY GOD! Did it kill you?"

  11. WhatsInAName Says:

    So very true! Some questions which you have to grin and bear.
    Talking is an art indeed !

  12. and thats why i quit tv. i refuse to be lumped with the idiots who shove a mike up your nose and say "how do you feel now that india has won/lost the match?"

  13. Hip Grandma Says:

    Grin and bear have no option.Have you met people who look at the mlk in the fridge and ask'where is the milk'?they are okay, only a little color blind.I remember my cousin asking me the day before my marriage if I was dreaming about 'him'To be frank I was not in a mood to dream about anyone.I was just miserable at the thought of leaving my home,my mother and going faaaar away.

  14. lol, your are spot on, reminds me of the stupid people who telephone you at home, and when you answer they say, hello are you home? where else would you be, you've just answered the phone in your home haven't you. go figure?

  15. A.R.Malik Says:

    ..."It is our mealtime and we are out food hunting" ...


  16. Raj Says:

    Mad magazine had a series called "Snappy answers to stupid questions", by Al Jaffee, that provided tips for precisely the type of situations that you have described.

  17. Gauri Says:

    OMG !! This was hilarious :-)))

    Even the kids are subject to such questions - like last year when Appu got down from the school bus, in her uniform, if I may add, and I happened to be waiting in the lobby - there was this acquaintance who asked her "are you coming back from school ?"

    Where else would she be coming back from ?

    Influence of too much of TV perhaps ??

  18. Usha Says:

    Hi all: Feels good to know that I am not singled out for this attack. :)

  19. Anonymous Says:

    I actually miss these questions after coming to U.S. I could trade anything to go back in time for all these questions from wonderful neighbours. I didn't know that these questions could irritate so many people!!

  20. Anonymous Says:

    Ha! :-) Trailed in from The Rational Fool. I think you might enjoy on similar lines, though slightly more adult in its flavor.

  21. Anonymous Says:

    Very funny...I had a classmate in grad school who used to call me late at night and ask me if I was asleep..

  22. LOL - It seems funny now - but when you hear the TV reporter asking someone "kaisa lag raha hai aapko?" you really want to reach into the TV and give the man a good shake....