tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post6338526093772791654..comments2023-10-09T18:12:29.276+07:00Comments on Agelessbonding: How do we save these children?Ushahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00179239922869639391noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-35468148671227704472008-03-31T13:12:00.000+07:002008-03-31T13:12:00.000+07:00Mahadevan: "We are not satisfied if the child does...Mahadevan: "We are not satisfied if the child does well. We expect him/her to do better than the other child."<BR/>We seem to want them to do better than all children that age!<BR/>aiyo poor baby. ya but they will tell you that when he makes it to the national team when he is 16 , he will thank you for this.<BR/>I have stopped commenting about these even to my close relatives. They think I am a dinosaur.<BR/>Remember that child who was forced by his father to practice table tennis so hard that he collapsed and died before a tounament last year?<BR/>But we don't seem to learn anything from these stories.Ushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00179239922869639391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-51739120212686268172008-03-30T02:00:00.000+07:002008-03-30T02:00:00.000+07:00Every parent today suffers from 'Ravi ki Ma' syndr...Every parent today suffers from 'Ravi ki Ma' syndrome.<BR/><BR/>We are not satisfied if the child does well. We expect him/her to do better than the other child. <BR/><BR/>I have seen 5 year old boys, barely the height of a cricket bat, carrying huge cricket kit on their shoulders, meandering towards the cricket Stadium at 5.30 a.m. because their parents want them to be Sachin Tendulkar. To be obssessed with an icon is not to be identified with encouraging sport. <BR/><BR/>"The false lies not in our Stars, but in ourselves. We are underlings".Mahadevanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08659899620865902690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-9958155987437210532008-03-25T16:50:00.000+07:002008-03-25T16:50:00.000+07:00Dipali: I think the whole competition is conducte...Dipali: I think the whole competition is conducted for the voting so the phone guys make all the money and sponsor these programs. In the bargain the guy with real talent doesn't win.<BR/><BR/>Ranjani: Thank you. will check out your post too. We all seem to be worried about the educational system but are the policy makers worried?<BR/><BR/>Deepa: Yes, they are depressing. wasn't the Bournvita quiz contest wonderful when it was a radio show?Ushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00179239922869639391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-63651737352629972492008-03-20T16:40:00.000+07:002008-03-20T16:40:00.000+07:00So true, Usha. I just cannot watch these shows as ...So true, Usha. I just cannot watch these shows as they depress me...but I guess we are in the minority. <BR/><BR/>I stopped watching the Bournvita Quiz Contest when, from a program that inculcated healthy competition with team-work, it became an individual talent-spotting and promotion program. I just hated it.molarbear's postshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01450189828207113992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-76243107309763138492008-03-20T11:53:00.000+07:002008-03-20T11:53:00.000+07:00Dear UshaI check your blog now and then and really...Dear Usha<BR/>I check your blog now and then and really enjoy reading your sensible and thought provoking articles. This is the first time I am leaving a comment here. I agree with all that you have said about our education system. <BR/><BR/>And that "Ravi ki ma" ad...I hate that ad and it is the most irritating ad I have seen in the recent times. I am so glad that you share my opinion ! <BR/><BR/>I had written something on similar lines a few days back( about our education system)ranjani.sathishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10450770799790366871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-8035288491094157012008-03-20T11:13:00.000+07:002008-03-20T11:13:00.000+07:00Pride in one's child and his achievements doesn't ...Pride in one's child and his achievements doesn't mean all this kind of hysteria which is so detrimental to the child's well being. These TV competitions are so skewed anyway because of the public voting. I do my bit by no longer watching any of them!dipalihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01070862196307376073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-78654465378788821992008-03-19T22:02:00.001+07:002008-03-19T22:02:00.001+07:00Rouhana: Totally agree with you.Rouhana: Totally agree with you.Ushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00179239922869639391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-24695457814947236592008-03-19T22:02:00.000+07:002008-03-19T22:02:00.000+07:00altoid: I have a friend who teaches in a school an...altoid: I have a friend who teaches in a school and tells me that there are some parents who come every time she gives out corrected papers with marks demanding to know why she cut 1/2 or 1/4 for the child.This in the 3rd and 4th grade. What will the children learn from their parent's behaviour.<BR/>And I find it disgraceful too when they appeal in the name of their state - were they selecting the Indian Idol or state idols.<BR/><BR/>Hipgran: What motivated you to do that? did you think you could help your child fare better? because I know You would not have done it just to see your girl come first in class.<BR/><BR/>Guns:The thing is most young parents don't think that my advice is worth taking. They think I am under some idealistic illusion and completely out of touch with the harsh realities of today's competitive world. :(<BR/><BR/>anush: I would also like to know where these class toppers are 20 years from now.:)<BR/><BR/>Praveen:Yes most children crack under pressure and end up doing worse than what they normally would have.<BR/>Thank you, keep visiting and sharing your opinions.<BR/><BR/>Choxbox: So true.<BR/><BR/>The RF:And I have a couple of examples of IIT grads and gold medalists who are doing nothing spectacular in life.<BR/><BR/>Chitra: Oh for most success is coming first, getting into IIT and then a US univ/ job or computer science and job with a top IT company.<BR/><BR/>Praveen: Please visit his blog. You will love it.<BR/><BR/>nm:What? he said that it is because of his religion? and they allowed it to be broadcast on national television? I am really shocked. What is the message for the young child?<BR/><BR/>Rajk: Someone commented in an earlier post that some children need parental encouragement to take their studies seriously. But they get carried away i think.<BR/><BR/>Shefaly:Why go to either extreme? Is it so tough to provide the environment where they are allowed to bloom naturally ? if parents don't know their own child, who else can?<BR/><BR/>How do we know: Have you seen parents who children are about to appear for the board exams - they act like they have been visited by a ghost.<BR/><BR/>Diya: Oh yes, those dramatic pauses and silences _ I hate them.<BR/>Sure we can be friends. Will check out your blog. Hope you have a great time in Namma Bengaluru.<BR/><BR/>Maami: Nekkumdaan. Anaa onnu puriyaradu, inniku naan schoolukku pona 8 classlaye fail ayiduvennu nenaikaren. apram en amma sonna madiri pathu pathram thekka vendiyadudaan. :)<BR/><BR/>Lavs: Ya there is too much drama in these shows. Sometimes I wonder if they are all orchestrated.<BR/><BR/>JLT:Be involved, help him where he needs it but do not push your unrealistic expectations on him. Encourage him to give his best without court martialling him if he fails some time.Let him know it is alright to fail but what is important is to have the strength to get up, brush the dust aside and try again.<BR/><BR/>naveen: welcome. Will do.Ushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00179239922869639391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-48712369919587249752008-03-19T21:27:00.000+07:002008-03-19T21:27:00.000+07:00i wish people would realise that without failure t...i wish people would realise that without failure there can be no growth. we learn from our mistakes.<BR/>people should just chill, treat everything you do with your best effort,and take pride in that.<BR/>it's not about winning or loosing, but more in how you approach things.africanfragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00493654265715063496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-58697973363898386212008-03-19T17:25:00.000+07:002008-03-19T17:25:00.000+07:00really good blog. ... write again in these type o...really good blog. ... write again in these type of topicsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-11734396864747708262008-03-19T14:04:00.001+07:002008-03-19T14:04:00.001+07:00I don't understand how people can make scenes like...I don't understand how people can make scenes like these in full public view. Won't it always leave a bad taste in the moutn later ?<BR/>I think its slightly better where the contestants are a little older than kids. I used to follow Star Singer on Asianet.... all the episodes I saw (elimination) were dignifiedly done, with the contestants showing their disappointment, but no scenes... Dunno if there were any I didn't see. I hope I am big enough to not pressure Sonny boy in his studies- am not worried of the extra curricular activities..Just Like Thathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04156108159461377932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-59569673824321160692008-03-19T14:04:00.000+07:002008-03-19T14:04:00.000+07:00I completely agree with you –“meet with Triumph an...I completely agree with you –“meet with Triumph and Disaster<BR/>And treat those two impostors just the same”. <BR/><BR/>I saw one program (I think in Jaya TV)- Little masters. The VJ was consoling a crying child in the most irritating manner. C’mon, it’s a kid and you cannot talk to her like grownup. Had I been that kid’s parent, I would have slapped that guy then and there!! <BR/><BR/>And yes parents need to grow up first!!Lavshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17754910261878461646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-59100842357621553632008-03-18T22:28:00.000+07:002008-03-18T22:28:00.000+07:00If they are not superbrats we insult their self es...If they are not superbrats we insult their self esteem;if not we push them over to the brink in a bid to excel.<BR/>Neku onnume puriyalaiye!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-7882437919041008542008-03-18T18:56:00.000+07:002008-03-18T18:56:00.000+07:00How right you are, I used to watch some of these c...How right you are, I used to watch some of these competitions too till they started making them like melodramatic serials with contestants saying mean things about each other the judges having arguments and contestants and their parents weeping or losing it if eliminated. one program dedicated a single day to the elimination drama--- the person who is going to leave us is....then silence and suspence music plays .... twice thrice a hundred times in that half hour--- can give a normal person a heart condition not for the weak hearted. We have created a hellish existence for ourselves and our children. I recommend bogey wogey which is a dance program which does not have theatrics during the elimination (some of the children are prococious though) and K for Kishore which follows each other in Sony on Fridays and Saturdays.<BR/>Usha, I have been following your posts since I was in Delhi now I am in your city, will you be my friend. I have taken the liberty of tagging you because I want to get a glimpse of your previous posts which are special to you, will you visit my blog and decipher the tag? I am a clumsy beginner in the blogworld.diyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07467285543383068855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-18324586348323414322008-03-18T17:54:00.000+07:002008-03-18T17:54:00.000+07:00true. the people who need counseling are the paren...true. the people who need counseling are the parents. kids can handle pressure easy enuf, from what i have seen.How do we knowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01763488475931737293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-83785674969414731412008-03-18T15:26:00.000+07:002008-03-18T15:26:00.000+07:00Usha: The other extreme is the kind of feckless pa...Usha: The other extreme is the kind of feckless parenting that some are practising in the name of freedom to choose a lifestyle. The UK is consumed with headlines about Scarlett Keeling and Shannon Matthews (alive, found) these days. <BR/><BR/>If there is a choice between these two extremes, I would prefer the Indian hyper-competitive model of parenting. :-/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-84682231689329258932008-03-18T13:41:00.000+07:002008-03-18T13:41:00.000+07:00I'd watched a much earlier episode of the little c...I'd watched a much earlier episode of the little champs some time back when one of the contestants' mother made a big hue and cry about her daughter being eliminated. Her reasoning was that the other kids were older than her child so they had undue advantage! Clearly, the girl herself looked uncomfortable with her mom's emotional scene! I was shocked at the attitude of the parents. <BR/>I totally agree with "Rational Fool" that "success" in various exams is no guarantee for later happiness in life. I have always been an above average student but I can't honestly say that I've done any better than any other "average" student in my class.<BR/>What is important is that children be given the exposure to the options that are available to them.rajkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04473706252786535841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-21122517587629067592008-03-18T10:48:00.000+07:002008-03-18T10:48:00.000+07:00I've been thinking about this issue lately after r...I've been thinking about this issue lately after reading suicide cases or attempts by children as little as in 9th standard due to exam stress.<BR/><BR/>And its not just the exams, its these music or dance or any other competitions as well. Every parents wants to show off their children! And trying to prove how intelligent or great their children are. <BR/><BR/>The other day I was watching Lil Champs and the father and brother of a boy called Amir, blasted off when he was eliminated and tried to turn it into a communal issue saying that Amir was eliminated because he was a Muslim. I was so flabbergasted at their outburst.<BR/><BR/>I, as a parent, am going to try my level best so not put this kind of a pressure on my kid. <BR/><BR/>And I guess we need to save these parents' first from such attitudes and the children will be automatically be saved.~nmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16483363042572158612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-29611782206696225602008-03-18T09:04:00.000+07:002008-03-18T09:04:00.000+07:00:) wow The Rational Fools comment made my day. Tru...:) wow The Rational Fools comment made my day. Truely inspiring.Praveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01625166366980829638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-26089282058635632662008-03-18T08:54:00.000+07:002008-03-18T08:54:00.000+07:00Hi there Usha. :)A heart attack, wow! I didn't kno...Hi there Usha. :)<BR/><BR/>A heart attack, wow! I didn't know about this one. I have heard from my mom how one of the parents argued with the judges etc when the child was eliminated. <BR/><BR/>I agree with 'the rational fool'. From my immediate experiences I have seen how it is the aptitude that eventually makes you. To encourage the children to explore varied interests to let them know what excites them would be so much more prudent. I will be a happier parent if I succeed in helping my kids discover themselves than expecting them to be nothing but "successful"! Of course, what is 'to succeed' is VERY relative to begin with.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-40924560389308849532008-03-18T07:58:00.000+07:002008-03-18T07:58:00.000+07:00I failed to secure admission in the IIT's, and I a...I failed to secure admission in the IIT's, and I am confident that I am no less than any of my friends who did succeed. My friend and colleague also did not, and he is a chaired professor of finance in one of the most prestigious universities in the world. My uncle failed twice in his undergraduate program in mathematics, but went on to winning the gold medal in the law school and become an advocate in the Supreme Court of India. A nephew of mine showed promise in creative design early on, but failed in his higher secondary exam. He graduated with flying colors from a famous institute for industrial design in India. After completing his graduate program abroad, he now works for a world renowned design company in Europe.<BR/><BR/>Just a few real life examples to encourage children who may feel that they have not lived up to the expectations, should this famous verse from Gita fail to perusade them to get a grip on themselves and move on:<BR/><BR/><I>Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,<BR/>Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani</I><BR/>— v. 2:47 Bhagavad Gita<BR/>[Do your best and be detached from the results - my translation]The Rational Foolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06573904887494797998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-13332345921563549332008-03-18T06:50:00.000+07:002008-03-18T06:50:00.000+07:00true usha. trying to create the 'killer instinct' ...true usha. trying to create the 'killer instinct' kills a lot of other things in a kid.Choxboxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03741540918529448553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-84682221380146536872008-03-18T00:02:00.000+07:002008-03-18T00:02:00.000+07:00Thought provoking as usual...brought back memories...Thought provoking as usual...brought back memories frm my school days and my parents. :(<BR/><BR/>I had been doing extremely well and gradually comparisions with other kids gave me terrible complex and I began to slide down, actually down and down. Didnt really come out thru wit 'colorful marks' but I understood life is beyond that.<BR/><BR/>Its crazy...there was this Airtel super singer om Vijay TV a coupla months ago and when a little boy was elimated his mom went on to irritate the judges...the kid looked chilled out but I wonder what was goin thru his mind..<BR/><BR/>God drive some sense into these parents. Loved the closing part of ur post.<BR/><BR/>Visiting ur blog has become a routine now and I love it.Praveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01625166366980829638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-66898206374761174222008-03-17T23:59:00.000+07:002008-03-17T23:59:00.000+07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Praveenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01625166366980829638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5974677.post-4145273980884467602008-03-17T23:19:00.000+07:002008-03-17T23:19:00.000+07:00Very thought provoking post. Infact I hate these r...Very thought provoking post. Infact I hate these reality shows for the same reason. How many guys who have won reality shows have made it big is something the junta should ask.Anush Shettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10834589286548459071noreply@blogger.com