“Myself Rajinder, yourself?”
“I am Mr.Paramasivan. you are...?”
Once at a seminar someone introduced himself as
'I am ****, eminent economist'!
In India we have so many ways of introducing ourselves to a stranger unlike the West where the cliched 'Hi, I am Phil' meets 'Hi, I am Jack' over a firm or limp handshake. Even this one can elicit interesting responses here.
Once at a party given by an officer in the army a couple were seated at the same table and while the husbands were busy fetching their drinks I extended my hand and said 'Hello, I am Usha' and waited hoping she’d give her name. She shook my hand and said 'glad to meet you.' Not one to give up too easily I persisted 'Sorry I didn’t get your name' and she replied 'Mrs.Ramaswamy'. SIGH....
There is a reason why 'My name is Bond, James Bond' style won’t work in some parts of India. Let us try a desi version of this style:
I am Sai
Venkata Sai
Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai
Rajashekara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai
.......
You see?
And hence, “My good name is Ajay. Your good name?”
While I can manage routine introductions rather comfortably as long as they involve just the name- marital status – how many kids routine but if it is one of those occasions when I am compelled to make an impression or say something ‘interesting’ about myself I get all wound up. Remember I am the person who, at my son’s wedding, told a guest from the bride’s side ‘I am the son’s mother’?! That is what happens to me when I am under pressure to charm people with my introduction.
This was an ordeal when I was learning French. As part of the orale exercises, when you introduced yourself, you were expected not just to give your name, age, profession etc but were supposed to add some ‘interesting’ information about yourself. First of all, I cannot think of anything ‘interesting’ about myself. And even if I did, how am I to be sure that others will find the information ‘interesting’? For example would it be interesting information if I told them that I solved the code word puzzle this morning in 4 mins 33 secs? or if I told them that I exceeded my career best and ate 8 idlis for breakfast?
I don’t know. I’d assume that the details of our lives are pretty uninteresting to strangers others unless you lead a spectacular (or scandalous) life the details of which you are willing to share with others. How do you make your mundane life sound interesting to a bunch of strangers?
I am 51 and I have a blog which 100 people read! ( Pause for effect...)
Yawn. Ok. whatever. What IS a blog?
And it is even worse when I find myself in the position of having to introduce someone else. Given the tricks my memory plays with me, on a lucky day I can remember either the face or the name of most of the people I know. And so you can imagine my plight when I am expected to introduce people.
It happens usually like this. At a wedding this friend from my past gushes over to my side with a ‘heyyyyyy’ and nails me to the place with a swift volley of questions on covering me, my health, my family’s health and wealth, details regarding my dog and so forth. She could be a colleague from a past job, a customer in one of the bank branches where I worked, a neighbor – I have no clue. The face is familiar and she seems to know a lot about me and I wear my fakest smile and answer all her questions while searching my memory for some helpful hint. And this is when another friend joins us. I know she is chitra as I am regularly in touch with her and after some mutual exchange of pleasantries and banter I turn hoping friend1(stranger) would have left but she is standing there with an indulgent smile expecting to ‘mingle’. I rise to the occasion bravely and say “hi, meet my friend Chitra” and I keep talking about Chitra hoping to avoid having to get to the black hole that is the second part of the introduction. Sometimes the Chitra on the scene takes the hint and asks the stranger the question that begs to be asked about her name and who the hell she is. But my friends being MY friends they usually ask me pointedly: ‘you still haven’t told me anything about your friend’.
and that is one of the rare occasions on which a feigned heart attack seems a good idea to divert the attention of all concerned.
One advantage in having a lifetime of experience with such goof-ups is that I can spot it on a person’s face when they are trying to place me while having a normal conversation with me. Sometimes I enjoy it and prolong their agony without divulging any details but most of the time I am generous and ask them :’you have NO clue who I am right?” and then I tell them. Although they protest I can see I am right from their grateful smile. A few days ago this happened at a wedding and after I gave out the details the man smartly said: ‘of course I remember you. As if I won ‘t. I was simply pulling your legs.”
Smart strategy, must try it next time!
“I am Mr.Paramasivan. you are...?”
Once at a seminar someone introduced himself as
'I am ****, eminent economist'!
In India we have so many ways of introducing ourselves to a stranger unlike the West where the cliched 'Hi, I am Phil' meets 'Hi, I am Jack' over a firm or limp handshake. Even this one can elicit interesting responses here.
Once at a party given by an officer in the army a couple were seated at the same table and while the husbands were busy fetching their drinks I extended my hand and said 'Hello, I am Usha' and waited hoping she’d give her name. She shook my hand and said 'glad to meet you.' Not one to give up too easily I persisted 'Sorry I didn’t get your name' and she replied 'Mrs.Ramaswamy'. SIGH....
There is a reason why 'My name is Bond, James Bond' style won’t work in some parts of India. Let us try a desi version of this style:
I am Sai
Venkata Sai
Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai
Rajashekara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai
.......
You see?
And hence, “My good name is Ajay. Your good name?”
While I can manage routine introductions rather comfortably as long as they involve just the name- marital status – how many kids routine but if it is one of those occasions when I am compelled to make an impression or say something ‘interesting’ about myself I get all wound up. Remember I am the person who, at my son’s wedding, told a guest from the bride’s side ‘I am the son’s mother’?! That is what happens to me when I am under pressure to charm people with my introduction.
This was an ordeal when I was learning French. As part of the orale exercises, when you introduced yourself, you were expected not just to give your name, age, profession etc but were supposed to add some ‘interesting’ information about yourself. First of all, I cannot think of anything ‘interesting’ about myself. And even if I did, how am I to be sure that others will find the information ‘interesting’? For example would it be interesting information if I told them that I solved the code word puzzle this morning in 4 mins 33 secs? or if I told them that I exceeded my career best and ate 8 idlis for breakfast?
I don’t know. I’d assume that the details of our lives are pretty uninteresting to strangers others unless you lead a spectacular (or scandalous) life the details of which you are willing to share with others. How do you make your mundane life sound interesting to a bunch of strangers?
I am 51 and I have a blog which 100 people read! ( Pause for effect...)
Yawn. Ok. whatever. What IS a blog?
And it is even worse when I find myself in the position of having to introduce someone else. Given the tricks my memory plays with me, on a lucky day I can remember either the face or the name of most of the people I know. And so you can imagine my plight when I am expected to introduce people.
It happens usually like this. At a wedding this friend from my past gushes over to my side with a ‘heyyyyyy’ and nails me to the place with a swift volley of questions on covering me, my health, my family’s health and wealth, details regarding my dog and so forth. She could be a colleague from a past job, a customer in one of the bank branches where I worked, a neighbor – I have no clue. The face is familiar and she seems to know a lot about me and I wear my fakest smile and answer all her questions while searching my memory for some helpful hint. And this is when another friend joins us. I know she is chitra as I am regularly in touch with her and after some mutual exchange of pleasantries and banter I turn hoping friend1(stranger) would have left but she is standing there with an indulgent smile expecting to ‘mingle’. I rise to the occasion bravely and say “hi, meet my friend Chitra” and I keep talking about Chitra hoping to avoid having to get to the black hole that is the second part of the introduction. Sometimes the Chitra on the scene takes the hint and asks the stranger the question that begs to be asked about her name and who the hell she is. But my friends being MY friends they usually ask me pointedly: ‘you still haven’t told me anything about your friend’.
and that is one of the rare occasions on which a feigned heart attack seems a good idea to divert the attention of all concerned.
One advantage in having a lifetime of experience with such goof-ups is that I can spot it on a person’s face when they are trying to place me while having a normal conversation with me. Sometimes I enjoy it and prolong their agony without divulging any details but most of the time I am generous and ask them :’you have NO clue who I am right?” and then I tell them. Although they protest I can see I am right from their grateful smile. A few days ago this happened at a wedding and after I gave out the details the man smartly said: ‘of course I remember you. As if I won ‘t. I was simply pulling your legs.”
Smart strategy, must try it next time!
|
This happens with Amma- a lot! Whenever I accompany her to go to Gandhi Bazar, we'd have met X, Y or Z, carried on a 10 min convo...and after forging ahead...when I ask Amma who that was..."I have NO idea" she will exclaim dismissively. My Chitappa gets upset at times, because it is not unheard of that Amma has passed by him somewhere in Gandhi Bazar and totally not recognized him!
this is so true...i have no clue who i talk to when i attend functions,..firstly i'm visiting and most of them i see once in a year or more...half the time, i'm almost clutching my sis's pallu for help..she's an expert in placing faces to names....
so loved this post! :)
I loved this post!
I hate when people ask me what my 'good' name is...My riposte is, "I don't know if my name is good or bad but it is Sraboney."
I also hate when people introduce their spouse as Mr.X or Mrs.Y...
I too get tongue tied when asked to talk about myself...
I've never understood this business of , "myself,abc"....I mean why would you stand in front of me and say someone else's name ? Just say your name, "abc", and I will assume it is yours,smile and say namaste......
And then are some who come to me in a gathering, smile, and say ,"I bet you didnt recognize me,", and then they dont say anything further...
I give up...
I mostly lurk here, Usha; I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this post, esp. your explanation of why "My name is Bond, James Bond" doesn't work in India. Had me ROFL.
Cheers,
Long-time Lurker
nice nice post!
were you talking about yourself or me? can't believe that others also go through the agony of making polite conversation without knowing who the person happened to be. My soul sister i am with you on this.
I'm still laughing at the the "I'm the son's mother" bit! Hilarious!
I remember faces , but forget the names.Mostly, I end up talking to the person as I feel like I know them, but I have no clue what their name is.
I hate it when people introduce their wives as ,"Btw, this is my missus." though this often happens in the previous generation.
ehh..that gentleman introduced himself as "eminent"???
LOVED this post. Am sooo like you, esp at family wedding, esp on my husband's side, with the older folk. They just have this velliyammayi/ cheriyachan/chitta business, without adding any specific names and there are a whole host of them.
And since they see me only rarely, they swarm on me saying, molu, do you remember me??? And I smile, not looking them in the eye,and say, of COURSE, and vanish from there before I'm expected to talk more...:-D. of course having a restless 4 -5 yr old near you helps hugely in the vanishing act.
I too cannot recall people's names. Am very bad at that. I still do not know many of my husband's relatives. Once while my husband and I were shopping, we met a couple and my husband assumed that I remembered them. I spent the next two hours merrily chatting with them, thinking the girl was my sister-in-law's friend only later found out, she was a distant cousin!
At functions I'de rather become invisible than give interesting information about myself. Truly identifiable. loved your style of writing. The "why bond style of introduction wont work here" is hilarious!!
A close friend of mine was the social butterfly in college... she'd have ten minute conversations with random strangers stopping her on the road... and when they left, she'd give me a mischievous grin and start wondering aloud who the person was! Walking with her was a total entertainment in itself. :)
Me - I am very straightforward. Sorry, I don't recognize you, I'll say pointblank. Some people are hurt but what to do? I am bad at the pretending game!!
Hi, My Good Name is Dinesh. I don't know if I have a Bad Name, Need to ask my parents! Nice post! May be we should introduce like this - Hi I am Ramasamy and I wear only Poombuhar Banian and Sudarmani Jaddis!
hahahha..it was hilarious ..but its so true ..it happens a lot of the times :)
When i'm in a situation that ur friend chitra put u in, i usually escape with a "you can introduce yourselves to each other" and leave hurriedly as tho some really imp task awaits me :D
You mean I am not the only one who forgets names ? Or out of politeness talk to someone without letting them know that I have no clue who they are !!
I have met a couple of women who introduce themselves as Mrs X and for the life of me, I just can't understand why they can't just tell their name instead of Mrs X?
Loved the James Bond example !
Haha good one.
Worse is the, "Hello, meet my neighbour: Maami" or in these fashionable times , "Meet 'downstairs aunty' "
I mean you old bags have no names or what?
Just maami?
Huh?Huh?
Signing off,
(erm) Maami
A common problem that we see quite often. I especially have it ith spouse's ex-colleagues whom I'm supposed to remember from one meeting decades ago:(
Am here from Nikhil's "Lost Soles" post :)
Lovely blog, and wonderful post!
hehe! i forget names os often, its not funny! i mean i can place the face most of the times, but names not always!
and these days its trying to remember kids' names. M has a cool way of remembering whole khandaans atleast when he calls. he saves name of friend, spouse and kid while saving the number! hehe!
i am usually asking hows the kiddo and biwi?! ;)
cheers!
abha
In school, when someone asked me "what's your good name?" I never why the word good was used. Why not just "What's your name?". Anyway my name is good. Later only I understood the meaning of "good".
That was so funny! I am just glad there are so many people in the same boat as me when it comes to names!
Quirky introductions
"I am Mr.X" Like we were wondering whether about whether it was Mr/Ms!
Hello :)
A long time reader. Delurking for the first time to wish you a Happy Towels Day! I read through your archives sometime ago and remembered this day and how you have a thing for towels :)
You write really well Usha Aunty. I love reading your blog. Hope you write more often.
i am mr. ***. bizarre but true.
a teacher introducing himself - i am *** sir.
You had me rolling on the floor, so, so familiar. Whenever I see a woman whom I can not identify, I start talking about her saree. It helps me to save my face. Iam bad with faces, dates, names, occasions...you name it.
Altoid: Your mom and I seem to have a lot in common. I can visualise the scene and I am laughing away.
Suma: Family functions - I dread them when it is beyond the first brach of the family tree.
Sraboney: I am glad that I am not alone in this. :)
Ugich: And there are these people who cal
l after 5 years and ask you to guess their name. And feel hurt if you cannot.
Anon:That Bond joke has been on the net for a while now. I am glad it made you delurk.
Buddy: Thanks.
Hipgran: I knew it, I knew it my soul sis. How could you be different!!
Sujatha: I cringe every time I remember it.
Shoba: Ya and I am surprised when people address me as Mrs. V as if my name is too difficult to pronounce - I think it is some British hangover.
Praveen: yes, he did.
JLT:having my son around used to be a problem for me when relatives used to come to us and tell him ' ask your mom to tell you who I am'
Maddie: hehehe. You managed that for 2 hours? bravo!
Sujata: That is a borrowed joke. Thank you.
Devaki:I get tongue tied when someone knows a lot about me and I cannot remember their name. With relative strangers I can usually be honest.
Dinesh:hehe that would be an 'interesting' introduction especially if I said that. hehehe
Swati; happens to the younger group too. I am surprised!
Anon:I wish I was cool like that!
2B's mom: It is a great comfort to know that I am not alone in this.
Hi upstairs maami, and you aren't being referred to as bittu ki maa?
Dipali: That is another horror story. And if it is the boss's wife, it isn't a nice situation to be in.
Usha: Welcome and thank you.
Abha: That is a neat strategy but it would still not work for me as I won't know who to search under.
Pradeep: I have always been surprised by this 'good' name until someone explained it to me.
Saumya: Ya after seeing these comments I am comforted too.
Revs: Awwww, happy Towels day. I wish I had celebrated it with a new towel. Next time!
Inder: And if it is a teacher you cannot even laugh.
Aparna: hehehehe
Happens to me all the time when I see some old chap. We exchange some Q's and then later he/she asks my number, I promptly give them my number and they give missed call to my number saying "this is my number note it down" shaky moment now, I dont know their name. So politely I ask them what is u r full name? As I have few friends in same name. Ha ha ha, all ways works for me.
What is a blog? That has happened quite a few times. I have a food blog and one of my uncle thinks that I'm into catering. My husband is an ardent promoter of my blog and got this free visiting cards printed. He tries to hand it over to everybody and anybody and some people think that they have to buy stuff from me and try to avoid getting the card or ask me should they buy the cakes I bake etc.
Usha,
Very good post. The beauty of your posts specially is the way in which people relate to. you tell some story and people pop up with similar story lines.
On the introduction part, here is my expereience. few times, whenever I just take my first name, the next Q will be "First name" what? as though they want to know my dad's or husband's name! so ridiculous.
About this introducing the other person, I get into to such situation only when people talk to me saying they attended our wedding and I try to figure out the names from thousand bunch of people attended. Probably the after-wedding-dinner-invite rituals may have the reasoning behind this intro thingy!
For me, I have another sort of problem, I tend to remember each and every names, the husband's ex collegue, the wife the kid and if anybody whom the conversation went across some cousin of theirs etc!
Sometimes I feel I should erase out some unreferenced names, I Wish I had a way...