That Crazy 50 year old

My age has never been a source of discomfort to me; so it amuses me when people hurry to assure me that fifty is the new forty whenever my next birthday comes up in the conversation. I want to say, “Easy folks, it isn’t as though I was shortchanged and cheated of a few years that I arrived at 50 a lot sooner than I ought to. I had my full quota in seconds, minutes and hours and I have no problem being 50.”

I guess they mean to be supportive assuring me that I shouldn’t feel a day older than forty as I step into my fifties. And that I can continue to do everything I have been doing for the past 10 years and not feel that any doors are closed. But the question is, do I even want to?
Let me see what I was like in my 40s and what I have become closer to 50 :
• At 40, I still thought I was going places and running about like a headless chicken, At 50, I know I am not going anywhere and calmly accept it.
• At 40, I thought it was possible to fight wrinkles, grey hair and gravity. At 50, I don’t even notice them. I am quite comfortable in my body. I don’t expect Richard Gere to ask me out on a date and if he did, this is what he sees!
• At 40 it comes as a shock when a 25 year old calls you “aunty”; at 50 nothing affects you – not even when the 40 year old neighbour calls you aunty.
• People’s expectations from you are a lot less when you are fifty than when you are forty. I can forget birthdays, names of people and excuse myself from functions and parties without appearing rude. I can be that crazy but harmless 50 year old.
• And I can look at those grappling with their forties – career, ambition, goals, competition, success etc - from my comfortable deck on the other side!
• Forties all over again? Are you joking? I have just been through a few harrowing years of pre menopausal problems. Who wants to repeat it?

No Thank you. I am happy to be fifty which is what I will be tomorrow morning.

After all, today’s fifty year olds have better health facilities, are financially more comfortable and have a more positive attitude to old age than the previous generation. They do not feel old nor close to death yet. Retirement is still a few years away and some of them actually look forward to retirement and the leisure opportunities than dread it as the end of their lives. So when people say “fifty is the new forty” they probably mean that through the fifties you can continue to “feel” like you are in your forties, whatever that means.

Let us pause for a moment and see who are the people saying this:
1. People in beauty business and cosmetic surgery etc. (may we have a copy of the hidden agenda please!)
2. people who want to sell you something – holidays, insurance, pension. (Read the fine print and you might notice that the risk is considered higher when you are 50 than when you are 40. Wonder why?)
3. People who like to say nice things even when it is a white lie.
4. and people who are fifty who like to believe and behave like they are 40.

There are those people whose life is filled with excitement, adventure and fun –hot and happening as they say. For these, fifties may be a source of dismay and disappointment at the prospect of having to slow down and settle for less exciting lives and to finally make peace with the fact of growing old, wrinkles and all. I am sure these are the people who love to hear that fifties are the new forties so they may continue to act and feel young.

And then there are those whose life is organised around playing various roles and fulfilling various responsibilities. These people actually look forward to being fifty - to finally see their children grown up and taking care of themselves, to have less responsibilities to others and more time for themselves , in order to finally do the things that one did not hitherto have the time or money for. They look forward to spending time with their grandchildren in a way they could not relate with their own children by virtue of having been younger and less experienced and more anxious about doing the best for them. It is my guess that these people are not about to trade off being fifty for anything younger.

And then there are people who belong to neither of the above but carry on with their lives like it is a job to be done and if possible done as well as possible. Perhaps this is where, I’d like to believe, I belong. Get on with your life believing age is just a number, something that does not matter unless you are cheese. Do everything that you want to, everything that makes you happy and do it only because you want to – it finally does not matter what others think. And if you do not feel like doing anything, that is fine too. Being fifty gives you that privilege too – of resting on the bench and watching the world go by.
Sashi Taroor wrote an article in the Hindu
when he turned 50 in which he said:

But I'm pleased that, if in reaching 50 I have shed a few illusions along the way, I have not acquired the world-weary cynicism that plagues so many of those who believe they have seen it all already. I am conscious of how much there still is to learn, and how much there remains to do. I have reached 50 still convinced that the world can be made a better place, that human beings can improve themselves and others, that life still offers much to look forward to each morning. That, in short, I may have many of the answers but have still not run out of questions. I hope I'll still feel that way at 60.

I hope so too.